


The Agents of Shield have an Internet Family Plan

by Anonymous



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Adorable FitzSimmons (Agents of SHIELD), Daisysous, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Multi, crackfic, dousy, eventual daisysous, lmao deke is a hot mess, philindaisy, you should read this it's funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25153879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Conversations the Agents of SHIELD have over text, either through private messaging or group chats. Set post season 5 + Sousa!With all of your favorite platonic and romantic relationships, plus lots and lots of shenanigans!Written spontaneously by some pretty awesome people (:
Relationships: Agent Davis/Agent Davis's Wife (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.), Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie/Yo Yo Rodriguez, Deke Shaw & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Leo Fitz & Deke Shaw & Jemma Simmons, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Phil Coulson/Melinda May, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Comments: 50
Kudos: 137
Collections: Anonymous





	1. PUFFIES

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this was taken from a role play chat where the six of us did this whole conversation unplanned. I cracked up while we wrote it so that's why we're posting it here! Hope it makes you laugh too (:
> 
> A teensy weensy bit of exposition that is the basis for every text-convo in this fic:
> 
> Post season 5!  
> May and Coulson are married, Daisy is basically their daughter now. May teaches at the newly formed SHIELD academy, and Coulson is a half-retired agent.  
> Deke has a cat named Flip-Flop.  
> Puffies are the thing that got Jemma, Davis, and Daisy high in season 6.  
> Mack is director, he's married to Yoyo.  
> FitzSimmons are married, and Fitz is director of the R&D division, and Simmons is director of the Biology division.  
> Sousa is in 2020 in this fic even though it's only post season 5. Idk how it happened. He just appeared. And now we're setting him up with Daisy.
> 
> SEE END NOTES FOR ALL OF THE WRITERS' TUMBLRS AND ALSO THE SHIELD TEAM'S ACCOUNTS <3

JULY 4, 9:13

AOS GROUP CHAT <3

* * *

 **Sousa:** Okay. Who stole my coffee again?

 **Deke:** wasn’t me… 

**Piper:** I think it was Davis to be honest. I mean if he isn’t breaking the coffee machine, he’s most likely stealing the coffee

 **Sousa** : … 

What can I steal back?

(I’ve been a part of this team for two days and this has escalated quickly)

 **Piper:** I don’t know what you could steal… his dignity?

 **Sousa:** … 

**Piper:** Just do what I do to get revenge. Just slip a few puffies into his food and watch him act like a crazy person. It’s very funny and no one knows I have puffies on base, everyone thinks that they’re in a trash can or incinerator somewhere

 **Daisy:** PIPER NO

PIPER WHY DO YOU HAVE PUFFIES

I’M STILL TRAUMATIZED

 **Piper:** I may have kept some to prank Davis with on occasion

And only Davis. Nobody else, promise

Okay, except for the time I replaced the taffy bowl in the lobby with puffies during christmas so people would have fun.

 **Deke:** I would like a puffy please?

 **Piper:** I’m running low. So no, Deke.

 **Daisy:** Deke, noooo

Deke on puffies would be a fiasco.

 **Deke:** Aww, but if you gave me some Piper I can try to make more, then you won’t be low!

 **Daisy:** GUYS SERIOUSLY DO I NEED TO CALL MAY? NO PUFFIES.

 **May:** No need, I’m already here.

 **Deke:** But Daisy, I need them for *science*

 **May:** Science my ass

 **Deke:** Okay, plan b it is.

 **May:** No funny business on Phil’s birthday.

 **Deke:** Oh may, who says this is funny business? My plan is in motion.

 **Piper:** no puffies for you, deke

 **Daisy:** You know May will kick all of our asses if puffies start circulating around the base and academy on Coulson’s birthday.

 **Deke:** Plan B is in m o t i o n (:

 **Jemma:** Where are you two anyway, May?

 **May:** It’s classified.

Deke don’t make me come back there

I will kick your ass all the way back to the future

 **Deke:** Interesting

 **May:** I’m serious Deke

 **Deke:** Oh I know

Still makes it interesting

 **May:** Daisy, please make sure he doesn’t get any puffies

 **Deke:** What makes you think I can be stopped :P

I will get them one way or another

 **May:** No

 **Deke:** Yes

 **May:** No

 **Deke:** Yes

 **May:** No

 **Deke:** Yes

 **May:** No

 **Deke:** Yes

 **Daisy:** Deke just ran past me with a jar of puffies

Sorry, May

 **Deke:** _ahahahhahaha_

 **May:** I’m done.

Goodbye.

 **Daisy:** ):

Have fun with Coulson!

Tell him happy birthday!

 **May:** Oh we’ll definitely have some fun

 **Daisy:** Ew what does that mean??

 **May:** nothing

 **Piper:** DEKE GOT THE PUFFIES GAH

 **Deke:** HAHAHA

First I will study them to make more and then will be the fun part

 **Daisy:** What’s the fun part, Deke?

Distribution?

Don’t tell me you’ll sneak it into the food… 

**May:** Bye now

 **Daisy:** Bye mom

I’ll try to keep Deke from destroying the base

 **Deke:** (:

I won’t put them in the food don’t worry

 **Sousa:** Puffies?

 **Piper:** They’re… interesting.

 **Daisy:** and lmao, Davis when he ate one

 **Piper:** yeah, that’s some hilarious shiz

 **Daisy:** Jemma saw Fitz as a monkey

It was hilarious

 **Fitz:** She… what?

 **Deke:** Okay, I now know how to create more puffies

 **Fitz:** Oh no.

 **Deke:** surprisingly not so hard considering it’s alien, a little complicated but doable to make. Don’t worry, the recipe is classified.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go run trials. (;

 **Daisy:** Trials on… who???

 **Sousa:** I may not know much, but I am _not_ volunteering.

 **Deke:** That’s fine, I was going to volunteer myself wink wink

 **Fitz:** Deke on puffies will be a bloody nightmare.

 **Deke:** sorry bobo

 **Daisy:** Give it to Mack

I would love to see him on puffs

 **Deke:** Okay, trial time. Will see you guys soon (:

JULY 4, 11: 22 AM

AOS GROUP CHAT

* * *

 **Daisy:** uh oh

 **May:** I’m back. What did I miss?

 **Daisy:** Deke painted his face red

 **Deke:** heHehehHEhe

 **Piper:** What?

 **Daisy:** ...yea

 **Deke:** I feeeeeelell fluffy, puffires good

 **Piper:** Having fun, Shaw?

 **Deke:** yaA

 **Daisy:** I locked off the hangar so that he can’t crash the Zephyr into a wall.

 **May:** We’ll be back soon.

 **Daisy:** Oh no

Piper we need to clean up like rn

 **Piper:** Fun

How big is the mess?

 **Daisy:** uh

 **Piper:** uh, what?

 **Daisy:** uh, I heard something explode

 **Piper:** WHAT?!

 **Deke:** _lemona_

 **May:** We leave you alone for half a day and the base goes to shit

 **Deke:** no explosiouj 

explosoin 

ewahhh

 **Jemma:** oh no

Deke are you okay?

 **Deke:** yeha 

**Jemma:** I’m very glad I’m in the SciTech building with Fitz right now.

 **Deke:** ):

 **Daisy:** May what’s your ETA?

piper I really need some help here

I’m on level 3 with Deke

 **May:** over an hour away

 **Piper:** I’ll be there soon, Daisy

 **Deke:** Goottaaa keeys 4 da sefur 

Broom

 **Daisy:** DEKE NO DON'T TOUCH MAY’S PLANE IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE

 **May:** STEP AWAY FROM MY BABY

 **Daisy:** I thought I was your baby ):

 **May:** STEP AWAY FROM MY PLANE ):

 **Daisy:** (:

May will literally rip you apart, Deke

uh oh

 **May:** uh oh?

what has Deke done now?

 **Daisy:** …

 **May:** Daisy Louise Johnson.

_Tell. me._

 **Daisy:** uh

so

what if the field trip from the communications academy found Dekes stash of puffies

 **May:** I’m never leaving you alone again

 **Daisy:** HERDING CHILDREN IS IMPOSSIBLE

HOW DO I DO THIS

HELP

 **Davis:** Oh god

 **Daisy:** DAVIS, PIPES, I LOST DEKE

HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?

 **Davis:** How did you lose him? I’ll search the common room and make sure he’s not staring at the static on the tv screen. 

**Piper:** I saw him going into the kitchen

 **Daisy:** can someone watch the kids? I gotta go chase down Deke

 **Piper:** I can watch the kids

 **Davis:** Those puffies mess you up, but at least they do make you see a really pretty light show in the process 

**Deke:** Zefur went vroooooopooooom

 **Daisy:** lmao yea

wait wut

wdym vrooopooooom

 **Davis:** Okay, if Deke did anything to the Zephyr I’m taking a personal day. I don’t want to feel May’s wrath when she finds out!

 **Deke:** mysteryu 

**Jemma:** Okay gUys, I found Deke! He’s with me and Fitz.

 **Piper:** that’s good.

 **Deke:** gran dparrens

 **Davis:** he seems more lucid at least. Maybe nana and bobo can sober him up?

 **Deke:** n noooo

i havvere moorre 

**Jemma:** We should replace his stash with taffy.

You like taffy, Right, Deke?

 **Deke:** ):

ya

 **Davis:** DEKE PUT DOWN THE PUFFIES. Jemma, do something!

 **Deke:** but y

 **Jemma:** We’ll take away flip flop.

 **Deke:** Wai t no how coul d you do thiss to me

 **Jemma:** then give Davis the puffies

 **Deke:** no ):

how could this happen to meeeeee

 **Daisy:** uhhh question for May: are you two coming back by QJ or Lola?

 **May:** by Lola 

**Daisy:** kk don’t come through the hangar xo

 **May:** okay?

 **Daisy:** dw abt it

 **Deke:** I am starting to sober up an d whoops is all I can say

 **Daisy:** whoops? That’s it?

 **Deke:** yes, about everything. Can I have flip flop back now

 **May:** what the hell happened

 **Daisy:** nothing

I’m following Davis’ lead and taking a sick day *cough* deke can deal with this fiasco

 **Davis:** May is gonna use you as a punching bag, Deke. And then probably make you single handedly fix everything you wrecked. I definitely don’t envy you right now.

 **May:** … 

**Deke:** ):

 **Sousa:** I really cannot leave you guys alone, can I?

*sigh*

You know, there is still a lot I don’t know about this era, but working with Howard Stark taught me one thing: always have an antidote on hand.

Agent Simmons, I’m bringing it up to your lab as we speak. Should sober them all up quickly

 **Deke:** nah dude, I’m good noww

 **Sousa:** … 

he knows the kids from the academy are still sky high, right?

And also: Why is Agent May walking around with a strange gun? The tip is… glowing orange?

 **May:** That’s a special weapon

 **Sousa:** Now I have the feeling Daisy and Davis really need that day off…

 **Piper:** May, what are you going to do?

 **May:** nothing

 **Piper:** the large gun doesn’t exactly scream ‘nothing’.

 **Sousa:** Piper, if you know where Daisy and Davis are, I’d warn them if I were you. 

someone is going to pay for that plane, hmm?

 **May:** don’t talk about my plane

It’s too painful to think about.

 **Piper:** I dunno where they are. They left me with the kids.

 **Daisy:** Heyyyy mayyyyy

If I tell you where Deke and Davis are, do I get a pass?

\- from your awesome daughter who wants to live <3

 **Fitz:** Deke is in the rafters of the hangar

 **May:** Thank you.

 **Daisy:** @ Fitz, c’mon!

 **May:** Phil took my gun.

 **Sousa:** Why did he say, ‘I KNOW WHAT THIS DOES!’

 **May:** Because he knows what it does.

 **Davis:** REALLY, JOHNSON? You were gonna sell me out? That’s it. You’re uninvited from this week’s MarioKart tournament. Say goodbye to your winning streak!

May, this was all Deke. I just, uh, went home to uh… yea… went home to help my wife with the baby. I’m not hiding from you or anything.

 **May:** I’m unimpressed by your lie, Davis.

 **Deke:** o no i’m in danger

 **Daisy:** Lmao losers

You’ll never find me

 **May:** Coulson locked me in our room.

So Deke is safe

For now

 **Daisy:** ah

with him?

 **May:** Yes, he’s here for company so I don’t get lonely

It’s not the first time

 **Daisy:** aawwww

adorable

 **Deke:** This does not comfort me

 **Daisy:** it shouldn’t

 **Deke:** O:


	2. PETS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team discusses pets.
> 
> Daisy gains a son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg this one was so so fun to make too
> 
> WILL POST CHAPTER 2 LATER, IT'S DAISYSOUS PMS  
> THIS IS ACTUALLY CHAPTER 3

JULY 10 10:03 AM

AOS GROUPCHAT <3

* * *

**May:** You're all so quiet today, wow.

 **Daisy:** I'm bored

All of my inhuman trainees are off rn ):

 **Deke:** been busy playing with Flip Flop

 **Jemma:** Why are there hundreds of cans of Red Bull in our room's supply closet?

They were not there yesterday.

 **Deke:** That wasn't me

 **May:** Phil and I are getting a puppy

 **Sousa:** What breed?

 **May:** We're not sure. We were going to ask all of you for suggestions.

 **Deke:** Get, um, an english bulldog.

 **Sousa:** Shetland sheepdogs are amazing. They're super fluffy

But please no chihuaha

Back in my day these things were evil

 **Davis:** Pick a pound puppy! Coulson is good at adopting random kids to join our team, so I'm sure he could pick a dog at the shelter with no problems!

And I mean that as a compliment Daisy!

 **May:** Thanks, guys.

 **Daisy:** Thanks, Davis. I'm a pound puppy.

 **Sousa:** WHO CAME UP WITH KITTEN INSTAGRAMS???

 **Daisy:** GENIUSES

 **Sousa:** ALL THOSE KITTENS

AND DUCKS

Best invention ever.

 **Daisy:** YES

WE SHOULD GET SOME DUCKS

WE CAN PUT THEM IN THE MAIN FOUNTAIN, THEY'LL BE SHIELD'S MASCOT!

 **Yoyo:** I don't think Mack would agree to that

 **Daisy:** Pfft since when has Mack stopped me

 **Davis:** Oh c'mon Yoyo, let's just do it and hope he forgives us!

Better to ask forgiveness than permission anyway, right?

 **Elena:** And if he doesn't forgive you, you're the ones in trouble who then have to sort the mess out.

So do it if you want to, I am having no part in this.

 **Daisy:** Ducks (:

Got a duck

Put it in my bathtub for now

 **Fitz:** where did you get a duck from

 **Daisy:** nowhere

 **Davis:** Are you gonna name it?

 **Daisy:** JEFF

I HAVE A BABY DUCK NAMED JEFF

 **Sousa:** Ducks are adorable

So I am with Daisy on this one

 **Daisy:** Hey come over to my bunk and help me raise this duck (:

 **Sousa:** Done.

 **Daisy:** (:

JULY 10 12:04 PM

* * *

**Daisy:** Hey did we ever find out who the redbulls belonged to?

 **Deke:** no, no you did not, it was never answered, i certainly never claimed it

but no touchy

 **Sousa:** Hey why is there a small girl in the lab with Deke?

 **Daisy:** WHO LET ROBIN NEAR DEKE IN THE LAB

DON'T FEED HER ANYTHING DEKE

 **Deke:** why i would never do such a thing the synthetic puffies are out of reach if that's what you're wondering

 **Daisy:** Anything else? I seem to recall you testing 'perfectly safe' electic gum on the academy students last week

 **Deke:** Nope, nothing else, absolutely nothing else

Okay I gave her some lemon flavored mayonnaise

 **Daisy:** Lemon... what?

Ew

 **Davis:** Please don't

 **Deke:** Hey, she wanted it

JULY 10 2:01 PM

* * *

**Sousa:** Good afternoon, everyone. Friendly reminder that Jeff escaped and Daisy found him in Lola.

 **Daisy:** Yes we found our duckson

 **Sousa:** How pissed will Phil be about Lola being covered in duck feces?

 **Daisy:** (shhhhhhhhghhghghghghghgh May's on the goddamn chat)

 **Sousa:** Oh... oops

 **Daisy:** hnggggggg

Maybe we can pass it off as Flip Flop's.

 **Deke:** Duck and cat poop are very different, good luck with that

 **Daisy:** But does Coulson know that?

 **Deke:** If he doesn't, i will be surprised

 **Daisy:** And I will be mildly disturbed if he does

I dunno the difference

poop is poop

 **Jemma:** Why are you two talking about that on here

Is this conversation necessary?

 **Daisy:** Yes

 **Deke:** ye

JULY 10 3:27 PM

* * *

**May:** What is all over Lola

 **Daisy:** what duck

 **Daisy:** who's Lola?

JULY 10 5:57 PM

* * *

**Daisy:** I AM NO LONGER SINGLE

GUESS WHO I'M WITH

HINT IT'S NOT JEFF

 **May:** Daniel?

 **Daisy:** aw you guessed really quick ):

 **Sousa:** <3

 **Daisy:** (good job, you got an emoticon right!)

 **May:** I'm very happy for you both

 **Daisy:** (:

JULY 10 6:13 PM

* * *

**Daisy:** I lost our duckson again

Maybe he should stay in somebody else's bathtub bc he keeps leaving mine

I swear I left him alone for uno minute

 **May:** daisy I-

 **Daisy:** it was _one minute_

):

Can somebody help me find my duck?

 **May:** Your duck is your responsibility

 **Sousa:** well

I have Jeff

But ehhhhhh

 **Daisy:** O:

What?

 **Sousa:** Jeff really likes Coulson's puppy, Lucy.

And they refuse to seperate

Jeff BIT ME

 **Daisy:** Omg

omg my duckson

 **May:** it's my puppy, not phil's

 **Daisy:** If you say so


	3. DISCOVERY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousa learns about new, twenty first century things. Like emoticons and condoms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upped the rating to teen because there is minor discussion of what contraceptives are, nothing graphic <3

Aos group chat <3

JULY 11, 11:32 PM

* * *

 **Sousa:** Where are the others?

 **May:** No clue

 **Davis:** I'm no help. Just got here myself

 **Deke:** At ice cream parlour (:

 **Sousa:** I have a question

 **Deke:** Yeah?

 **Sousa:** What is an IUD?

 **Deke:** Ummm, idk, ask google?

 **Sousa:** Hmmm

eh

wow

 **Davis:** Ummmmmm... well... it's a form of birth control

 **Sousa:** But... how?? And there are even pills?

 **Davis:** Did you guys even have birth control back in your time?

 **Sousa:** ????

We had rubbers

And very creepy cutladies in backrooms to whom you send your girlfriend if... you know... stuff went wrong

 **Davis:** It's pretty much all hormones

 **Sousa:** 0:

So let me get this straight:

Birth control has taken a massive step forward? People don't suddenly die anymore from getting abortions?

 **Daisy:** Why... why are ya'll talking about this

 **Sousa:** You made me watch Jane the Virgin

 **Daisy:** Ah

Right

I regret it now

 **Sousa:** I still don't understand how Jane got pregnant without having sex

 **Davis:** Idk what to tell you, man. Everything has gotten an update in the last 70 years.

 **Daisy:** That's an understatement

 **Sousa:** O:

 **Daisy:** Good use of emojis D!

 **Sousa:** :) :D At least something I got the hang of

Should I google about how Jane might've gotten pregnant?

 **Daisy:** ...

maybe no?

 **Davis:** Be careful with your phrasing on some google questions. You may get some explicit images or sites if you use the wrong phrase.

 **Daisy:** ^

 **Sousa:** With all of the questions I'm asking, doesn't google ever get tired?

Who is behind google anyway?

 **Davis:** I'd love to see him interact with Ask Jeeves. Remember the search engine with the little digital butler who could ask questions?

 **Sousa:** WAIT

THERE IS A DIGITAL BUTLER?

 **Daisy:** lol yea

Also D's googling so much stuff he should just use Ecosia. They plant a tree for every 45 searches

Aos group chat <3

JULY 12, 6:02 AM

* * *

 **Daisy:** Good morning guys! Is everybody in town or are some people on missions?

 **Deke:** I'm just chilling out in my bunk

 **Fitz:** Deke, we need a hand in the labs. Where are you? And where's Robin? We last saw her with you

 **Sousa:** What's the thing with that kid?

 **Deke:** I have no idea where Robin is, and I'm busy :(

 **May:** You lost my daughter again?

 **Deke:** oops gotta run

 **Davis:** *sigh*

 **May:** Polly isn't going to let me take care of her every weekend if she keeps getting lost

You better find her by the time I come back from my walk with the puppy.

 **Deke:** Oh look, sleep time

 **Sousa:** I found her in the library

She doesn't talk much does she?

 **Davis:** Not much. But when she does, it's a good idea to listen! She's a smart kid, but she also can kind of see the future.

 **Sousa:** O:

 **May:** She's helped us many times.

 **Davis:** I feel like the last couple of days has been a lot of new info for you, Sousa

 **Sousa:** You have no idea

Will it get worse?

What will google tell me tomorrow?

lol if you tell me men can turn into women and vice versa, I'm done

 **May:** well...

 **Davis:** who's gonna tell him?

 **Sousa:** O:

I am in my bunk if someone needs me

Being overloaded with info

 **Deke:** Oh yeah, not everyone identifies what they're born as. pretty cool really

And I personally have a slightly different gender identity, gender was kind of seen differently in the time I came from

 **Daisy:** I didn't know that! Dude you never tell me nothin

 **Deke:** I didn't see how to bring it up outside of conversation and I didn't think it mattered much either!

 **Daisy:** Nah, of course it doesn't matter, but I thought you'd share something like that with me, not to be petty lol 

Anyway proud of you bro <3

 **Deke:** Sorry ): and thank you

 **Daisy:** no need for apologies!! you did nothing wrong

 **Deke:** <3


	4. PRANK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> do not trust deke
> 
> [Dekesy brotp below :3]

**Daisy:** Is everybody asleep?

If so, we should prank someone

 **Deke:** I assume so, and yessss

 **Daisy:** I'm so bored without Jeff

 **Deke:** Flip Flop can keep you company?

 **Daisy:** nah let's prank

who will be our victim

 **Deke:** Hmmm

Grandparents told me pranking newcomers is a tradition

Sousa?

 **Daisy:** Ooooo yeah years ago when we first met they pranked me to make me feel more welcome (:

I mean it kinda backfired bc it interfered with this dimension shifting stalker ghost but yk

 **Deke:** Sounds like a typical day at SHIELD

 **Daisy:** So yes let's do Daniel

I mean, don't _do_ him, let's prank him

 **Deke:** Okay! I got the perfect idea

so you know how I like to make impulsive purchases, yeah?

 **Daisy:** yes

I definitely do

the ten pound bag of miniature baby figures was unnecessary

 **Deke:** Well, I made one the other week

bought 256 worms on a string

^^ was necessary, trust me (;

I say we hang the worms in his room or somewhere he likes to go

 **Daisy:** ooo

or we hide them in random places

 **Deke:** oo yes, that would work too

 **Daisy:** What if we put a worm where I'm sleeping next to him and when he wakes up tomorrow morning there's just a worm on a string in bed with him

 **Deke:** haha yes

i will get the worms ready

 **Daisy:** hehe

I also wanna put some in may and coulson's room but I also value my life

 **Deke:** I can handle that part 😎

okay, meet me by my bunk, the worms r ready

 **Fitz:** I- wow, okay. have fun.

 **Deke:** you sound surprised 

i don't know what you seem surprised about

 **Fitz:** You know what Deke you're right.

 **Deke:** I know. 😎

 **Fitz:** I'm not surprised this is completely expected of you

 **Jemma:** We're both going to sleep now; we were up all night working on a project

Please don't give Agent Sousa a heart attack

 **Fitz:** I regret telling you pranking is a tradition for newcomers

I mean, did I not learn from the fiasco with Yo-yo?

 **Jemma:** Oh that took months to clean up

Anyway, good night. or good morning, shall I say

 **Daisy:** night

yo deke we should avoid pranking Robin too

I swear May has a sixth sense when we're messing with her/losing her/feeding her candy

 **Deke:** Robin would probably already know, I don't think you could prank her

 **Daisy:** True

WE SHOULD ENLIST HER HELP

 **Deke:** we can ask her when she's awake, she usually comes to see me regularly

 **Daisy:** oh wait her room is attached to May and Coulson's. Can't do that; the super spy couple would hear us, shame

 **Jemma:** Don't drag the poor girl into your shenanigans, Daisy

 **Deke:** nana ):

 **Daisy:** Jemma ):

Let's replace Fitz with a worm

 **Fitz:** Let's not

 **Deke:** on it

(:

 **Daisy:** :D

 **Fitz:** no

 **Daisy:** yes

 **Deke:** the worms are coming for you Bobo

 **Daisy:** ^

 **Deke:** (:<

 **Daisy:** >:D

 **Deke:** Okay, I'm in the process of hiding worms everywhere

 **Fitz:** why do you two use so many emoticons

 **Deke:** emotional planning

 **Daisy:** :3

 **Deke:** :3

 **Daisy:** O:

 **Deke:** :O

 **Daisy:** (:<

 **Deke:** >:)

 **Fitz:** o k a y w e g e t i t

 **Daisy:** ):

 **Deke:** :(

 **Fitz:** *sigh*

 **Jemma:** Leo go to sleep

 **Fitz:** Yes ma'am

 **Daisy:** can we put one in Davis' kid's crib because I saw his wife walking around the hallway with their crying baby so he'll just see a worm instead of his baby in the morning

no that's mean nvm

 **Deke:** was distracted by worms, and okay

 **Daisy:** well, is it mean tho?

I mean he'd get that it's a prank right?

 **Deke:** probably a bit too mean sadly :(

 **Daisy:** ah well

I'm going to get a few more hours of sleep on the commons couch and maybe Daniel will freak because his girlfriend = lil fluff worm

 **Deke:** lol

have a good nap!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, maybe leave a comment about what you thought, or maybe a prompt for our next conversation? <3


	5. PRANKS pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worms, the internet, and pizza.

Aos group chat <3

8:23 AM

* * *

 **Daniel:** So I have an overload crisis for one evening

ONE

and I wake up

and I'm surrounded by purple, blue, and pink fluffy worms. on strings.

 **Deke:** yes :)

 **Daniel:** Where is my girlfriend?

 **Deke:** One of the worms

 **Daniel:** is this a thing in 2020? replacing people with worms?

 **Deke:** perhaps 👀

 **Daniel:** I am... 

I am going to lock myself up somewhere and think about life

 **Deke:** Have fun!

Aos group chat <3

JULY 15 9:04 AM

* * *

 **Daniel:** Finally got rid of all the worms

 **Deke:** Oh have you now?

 **Daniel:** Yes.

Aos group chat <3

JULY 15 9:07 AM

* * *

 **Daniel:** no.

 **Deke:** That's what I thought :)

 **Daniel:** Now I have.

 **Deke:** I do not believe so :)

 **Daniel:** Where did you get all these worms from?

 **Deke:** order online

 **Daniel:** what

 **Deke:** I have put worms everywhere

 **Daniel:** You can order stuff online? 

**Deke:** yep!

 **Daniel:** ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT WITH ONE PUSH OF A BUTTON YOU CAN ORDER ANYTHING?

 **Deke:** YEAH!

 **Daniel:** AND GOOGLE CAN HELP ME?

oh my

 **Daisy:** D NO

 **Deke:** welcome to the world of internet

 **Daniel:** I'm in my bunk if you need me

my worm-free bunk

with the mini computer ipad Daisy gave me for our 24 hour anniversary

 **Deke:** :)

that's so cute

 **Daniel:** Shield has credit cards, right?

 **Deke:** ye!

 **Daniel:** 🤔🤔

 **Davis:** What could you possibly be trying to order, Sousa?

 **Daniel:** ehm

200 pizzas delivered to the base?

 **Deke:** Oh fuck yea, I will happily help eat

 **Davis:** _200?!_

 **Deke:** You say that like it's a bad thing

 **Daisy:** yes guys pizza party

 **Davis:** It's just a LOT. I hate to think how much that cost. Let's hope Mack isn't too upset when he gets the bill

 **Daisy:** omg they're hereeee

I'm enlisting some academy students to help me carry them and I'm paying them in pizza

ew, like half of these are a weird ass flavor, D

 **Jemma:** Did you just... select every topping option and throw them onto the pizzas?

 **May:** ew.

 **Daisy:** a n c h o v i e s ? ?

You've gotta be kidding me

 **Davis:** The combo of anchovies and pineapple is gonna make me sick.

 **May:** I'm getting thai food instead. 

**Daisy:** oo mom me 2

 **Daniel:** I said I needed help

Create your own pizza is a bad idea

It gives too much power to the customer

 **Daisy:** It's especially a bad idea if the customer goes, 'Hey, Dais, look how the track pad makes a clicky noise!' and spams the website with clicks and selects everything without looking at the screen.

 **Daniel:** Technology makes me excited okay...

Imagine Howard Stark being here

he'd be like a kid in a candy store

 **Daisy:** You're like a kid in a candy store, D

But it's okay, wuv u anyway <3

 **Daniel:** <3


	6. STRING CHEESE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pranks, silly string and revenge.

Aos group chat <3

JULY 15 11:09 PM

* * *

**Deke:** Should I paint my nails 🤔 already tried the "guyliner" from the 80's and it's tempting

 **Daisy:** Ofc

Navy blue would look good

Get Robin to do it she did mine and for a nine year old she did a pretty good job

 **Deke:** I'll ask her tomorrow! Thanks Dais

 **Daisy:** Ofc

Aos group chat <3

JULY 16 7:03 AM

* * *

**Daisy:** Morning, guys!

Anyone out on a mission?

 **Piper:** Morning, Daisy

And I'm not.

 **Daisy:** I wanna do something

 **Piper:** Like what?

 **Daisy:** Robin's back with Polly for the week and I'm bored

Pranks again? oooooo or a nerf war

 **Piper:** Ooh, yes. Pranks. Definitely pranks.

 **Daisy:** Ooooo okay

 **Piper:** Who should we prank?

 **Daisy:** D'you wanna get Deke back for making us clean up after the academy kids on puffies?

Because that was not fun

 **Piper:** No it was not

Let's do it

 **Davis:** Count me in, too! You have something in mind, Dais?

 **Daisy:** Hmmm

ideas are welcome

 **Davis:** You ever watch the Parent Trap? You know that scene where they silly string the cabin, put syrup on the floors and all that? Or is that too much?

 **Piper:** Yes, def do that

 **Davis:** Don't ask why, but I've got a stockpile of like 20 cans of silly string we can use.

 **Piper:** I'm gonna have to ask why, Davis.

 **Davis:** You'll make fun of me if I told you

 **Piper:** When have I ever made fun of you?

 **Daisy:** Every day lols

I've never seen parent trap. Should we make it the movie for Friday night?

 **Davis:** Yess! Although that might give us away if we watch that movie right after we do the same prank...

 **Daisy:** Hmmm

tru tru

 **Jemma:** Oh, I miss the days when Daisy and I were on the bus and cooking up 'bad girl shenanigans' together.

 **Piper:** I do not always make fun of Davis

 **Daisy:** yes u do lols

 **Piper:** no

 **Davis:** Everybody back up. The lightning is about to come down and strike Piper for that bold-faced lie.

 **Daisy:** ^

C'mon, Pipes. You made fun of him for pouring his milk first and then his cereal literally an hour ago

Which, granted, is weird.

 **Piper:** I did not.

 **Daisy:** Oh sorry it was the other Piper then, my mistake

 **Davis:** Look, my cereal eating habits might be weird but at least I don't just take bites of my string cheese like Piper. I actually string it like you're supposed to!

 **Piper:** I'm not a neanderthal; I string it

 **Davis:** Then who am I thinking of? Dais?

 **Daisy:** ...

who bites string cheese???

biting is the only way to eat it duh

 **Piper:** You string the cheese, Daisy. Biting it is wrong.

 **Daisy:** Biting it is r i g h t

Stringing it is b a r b a r i c

 **Piper:** You're wrong. End of discussion.

 **Davis:** Piper and I don't agree often, but this is one of those times.

It's called STRING CHEESE. Obviously you STRING it

 **Daisy:** Are you-

Did you just agree with her???

 **Piper:** Ofc he agrees with me.

 **Davis:** Shocking, right??

But when you don't string your string cheese, weird things happen.

 **Daisy:** omg

you guys are so weird

string cheese is a stick for a reason

 **Piper:** But why call it string cheese if you don't string the cheese.

Every name has a meaning.

 **Daisy:** Mm. Pipes, every name has a meaning? So, what, I'm a delicate flower?

 **Piper:** Names can be deceiving

 **Daisy:** Like 'string cheese'

 **Yoyo:** Are you guys really having this debate?

 **Davis:** What's your take, Yoyo?

 **Yoyo:** My take is that you're all being stupid about this.

 **Daisy:** #bitestringcheese2020

Anyway, y'all ready to prank Deke?

 **Davis:** Let's go!

 **Piper:** Yesss

 **Daisy:** Okay, I grabbed five bottles of syrup from storage.

Davis you've got the silly string?

 **Davis:** Gotcha covered! Do we want any shaving cream too?

 **Daisy:** yesss

 **Daniel:** May I be of assistance? I want to pay him back for the worms prank

 **Daisy:** 4 sure

This is very mean but also after the whole puffy thing... it's simple revenge. Robbie the vengeance seeking demon would agree.

 **Davis:** This is mean, but like you said: he deserves it.

 **Deke:** oh. oh no, time to run

 **Daniel:** not if i tackle you #crutchpower

 **Daisy:** awww my bf learned hashtags!!

#mybfcantackle

 **Daniel:** (:

 **Deke:** I am the prankster her ):

 **Daisy:** Not when you're covered in silly string, feathers and syrup lmao

 **Davis:** ^

 **Deke:** ):

 **Daniel:** 🎉 🎉 

**Deke:** I've been silly stringed. 

**Daisy:** hehe we got our revenge

 **Deke:** Thank you for the silly string

 **Daisy:** It's used silly string, Deke

What could you possibly do with it

 **Deke:** you will find out

 **Jemma:** You should have never pranked him

now he'll come for us all

**TBC...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #bitestringcheese2020


	7. FANFICTION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quack, Bobo Koenig, and the out-of-time club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: non-graphic mentions of smut as a genre

AOS GROUP CHAT <3

JULY 20 2:49 PM

* * *

 **Daniel** : Ehm

 **Daisy** : D, you good?

 **Daniel** : I've been googling stuff again

And I was wondering

what is fanfiction?

 **Daisy** : oop

 **Deke** : Well, it's fiction but written for certain types of media by fans

to put it simply

 **Daisy** : ^

 **Deke** : Highly suggest you do not look into it too much

I have made that mistake

 **Daisy** : Sometimes it's about real people, sometimes fake people

 **Deke** : yea

 **Daisy** : I'm shipped with like,,, every avenger and agent ever

according to Billy

 **Deke** : I saw one with Daisy and Natasha

 **Daniel** : ...

 **Daisy** : I don't wanna know

 **Daniel** : There is a fiction section on the shield staff site??

 **Daisy** : But since I announced that Daniel and I were together I've been sent like forty links from Billy about is

 **Daniel** : Peggy and I are 'shipped'?????

and there's stuff about me and daisy??

 **Daisy** : Are y'all? I wouldn't be surprised

Our ship name is still up for debate

I like daisysous personally

 **Deke** : Welcome to the internet Daniel

i like dousy

 **Daisy** : Deke you don't get a say in our ship name

 **Davis** : Yea... best not to delve too deeply into that can of worms. Unless you're into reading erotic fiction about yourself. And if you are, that's totally fine to keep that detail to yourself lol

 **Daisy** : omg yea

Please don't divulge if anybody has read anything about us

I get enough of it from Billy

 **Deke** : I don't think i have met Billy

 **Daisy** : hmmm

I think you met his ancestor when we went back to the fifties that one time

 **Deke** : oh yeah bobo koenig

 **Daisy** : Billy's pretty cool but he really likes the ship 'quack'

lol yeah bobo koenig

 **Deke** : quack

okay brb a few min, yoyo is yelling

 **Daisy** : why

 **Deke** : she likes to yell

 **Daisy** : ah ok

me too

 **Daniel** : Can you pm me privately Daisy

 **Daisy** : sure

DAISY JOHNSON -> DANIEL SOUSA

JULY 20 4:06 PM

* * *

 **Daniel** : so

ehm

 **Daisy** : yeah?

 **Daniel** : what is smut

 **Daisy** : oh yea

just ignore it

 **Daniel** : Are we that famous that people write this stuff about us?

 **Daisy** : It's written about most famous-ish people

uhhhhhhh i'd say so

We're a relatively new ship so we don't have that much stuff written about us now

 **Daniel** : There's so much weird stuff

about us having kids

me being an inhuman

me meeting steve rogers?????

 **Daisy** : you wanna meet him?

I can hook u up

 **Daniel** : what happened to him?

 **Daisy** : he's still alive

he was frozen in ice for 70 years

 **Daniel** : you'll need to give me a summary

 **Daisy** : of his life?

or of the fifty years you missed

 **Daniel** : how he got to 2020

 **Daisy** : oh

hey you know Bucky Barnes the war hero? He's alive too

 **Daniel** : 😳 

**Daisy** : and he and Steve are a couple now, kickin' butt

there is a boatload of smut about them

not that i would know that

 **Daniel** : so

i'm not alone?

not the only one out of time?

 **Daisy** : nope

you should start a club

 **Daniel** : hm

 **Daisy** : you, deke, steve, bucky

 **Daniel** : ooh

 **Daisy** : you could also start a club with May and Coulson and Fitz: the has-died-or-faked-death-before club

 **Daniel** : oo text me their cells

 **Daisy** : aight

 **Daniel** : and we should continue our talk about smut tonight

in bed

>.>

 **Daisy** : sure (;


	8. NEEDLES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sick, diabetes, and vaccines

Aos group chat <3

6:02 AM

* * *

**Daisy** : Heyyyy anybody awake

except for may bc she woke me up at five to do tai chi

Aos group chat <3

7:09 AM

* * *

**Daisy** : Alright I'm alone then

 **Daniel** : Good morning everyone. Any plans today? I discovered this little thing called Disney +, might check it out in the common room

 **Deke** : I am watching films :)

 **May** : I'm sick.

 **Daniel** : You okay?

 **Daisy** : Aw

 **Daniel** : oh btw happy anniversary Daisy <3

oo I have a question

 **Daisy** : HAPPY VERSARY

 **May** : What's the question?

 **Daniel** : Do people still die from diabetes?

Because I just saw a guy in the locker room jabbing a needle in his thigh, saying 'oh just my diabetes'

 **May** : Now there are insulin injections for your diabetes

 **Daisy** : yupyupyup

insulin deficiency in diabetes wasn't fully discovered in the 20s but wasn't fully understood for a really long time

but now dying from it is prty rare

 **Daniel** : that's crazy

 **Daisy** : It's not that bad; just the thousands of injections every year

 **Daniel** : O: that's crazy i've only ever had a couple because of vaccinations

 **Daisy** : Wait you had only a couple vaccines?

 **Daniel** : tetanus and red fever?

how many vaccinations are there now?

 **Daisy** : ...

like 15? 13? 

our annual vaccination is coming 

**Daniel** : and this is the part where i am taking a few personal days

if you're missing a quinjet... i might have it

 **May** : vaccination time isn't too bad

 **Daisy** : can i come with you Daniel

 **Daniel** : and then drag me to vaccinations? no.

 **Daisy** : no i would never <3

 **May** : don't leave on the quinjet

 **Daisy** : mommmmmmmm

 **May** : yesss

 **Daisy** : can't you just turn the other way

and Daniel and I can slip out with the QJ

and elope

 **May** : no

 **Daisy** : ):

I've been betrayed

by my own mother

 **May** : vaccines aren't that bad

 **Daniel** : needles

13 needles

 **May** : You're overdramatic 

it's just a little pinch

 **Daisy** : Barely that

C'mon D you've been through hell as an agent and you're scared of needles?

 **Davis** : Look, my kid has to get vaccinations, Sousa. If a baby can do it so can you

if you're a good boy, the doctor might even give you a lollipop

 **May** : hahahahaha

 **Jemma** : second that. sousa, would a lollipop make you feel better? i have a jar in my office.

 **Daisy** : aw

hey can i have a lollipop?

 **Daniel** : no

 **Daniel** : if i must do vaccinations

you must catch me first

bye bye

  


**tbc...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably easy to guess but the daisy admin does in fact have diabetes

**Author's Note:**

> ALL OF THE CURRENT AOS ACCOUNTS:
> 
> Daisy: [@theofficialdaisyjohnson ](https://theofficialdaisyjohnson.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Jemma: [@theofficialjemmasimmons](https://theofficialjemmasimmons.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Fitz: [@theofficialleopoldfitz](https://theofficialleopoldfitz.tumblr.com/)
> 
> May: [@theofficialmelindamay](https://theofficialmelindamay.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Yoyo: [@theofficialelenayoyorodriguez](https://theofficialelenayoyorodriguez.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Davis: [@theofficialagentdavis](https://theofficialagentdavis.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Deke: [@theofficialdekeshaw](https://theofficialdekeshaw.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Sousa: [@theofficialdanielsousa](https://theofficialdanielsousa.tumblr.com)
> 
> Coulson: [@theofficialphilcoulson](https://theofficialphilcoulson.tumblr.com)
> 
> Enoch: [@theofficialenoch](https://theofficialenoch.tumblr.com)
> 
> Snow: [@theofficialsnowflake](https://theofficialsnowflake.tumblr.com)
> 
> (List created by @almostlikequake )


End file.
